The Making of "Where Are We Going?"

Found the song I used to play on the organ. Never realized who sang it and what it was about.

And that was the song that hit me when I was sitting at the cafe writing about my rants....when I wrote the poem "Where Are We Going?"

https://www.scribd.com/doc/263841236/Where-Are-We-Going

Where Are We Going?

  Where Are We Going? by Iris

就是愛音乐。 怎样？ So I love music. XX?

I am at a crossroads of life. Not because I chose to.

But I suspect, in my weakness and failure to control my life in the past, I am destined now to stand at this crossroad.

I felt a big loss and abandonment. Anger. Misery. Confusion. Silently crying out for help. Where shall I go? What shall I do to get it? Get what? Get it.

I dug into my secret treasure of compositions -- melodies that I had written, played on the organ  --when people still used to have an organ at home, so you can how imagine long ago that was -- recorded and saved on my computer.

I thought I should find a way to sell the songs. My musician friends didn't think they were good enough. But I do (haha!).

I knew the melodies that I had written came through divine inspiration -- not through my skill -- even though I am musically trained. I knew the entire song's melody just came naturally instantly and I wrote them down right away. It was never a chore of writing each melody over few days or few weeks.

I had a few demos done by very fresh arrangers, but they were technically off-beat and off-tempo. These people were not getting me...

But I never knew what to do with those melodies. Sell them? I tried asking someone who is in music production. He told me that album producers don't want music from unknowns like me. They have their own cliques. And Warner Chappell is non-penetrable.

So many naysayers. You're not good enough. You're not pretty enough. You're too old. You're not going to make it.

Well, I went ahead to find another arranger to make my melodies sound more current and like a  professional music arrangement. And one arrangement came back which excited me! Then I had this brilliant selfish urge to keep my song and not let anyone else sing it! I was in love with my song. I should sing it, cause I'm the only who knows this melody inside out. Now I just need some lyrics.

Then today i heard on the radio 2 announcers were discussing the topic of composing songs. Both being singers and thus, musicians, they also had their songs rejected before even though they spent so much time and heart writing them.

But their conclusion was, we love music and so it is. Yes, you may criticize our music, we will learn to become better from your criticism, but we will continue to make music JUST because we love it.

就是愛音乐。 怎样？(Jiu shi ai yin yue. Zen yang?) This was the slogan of an upcoming music awards show...I can't write a blog in Chinese, but it roughly means "So I Love Music"....the last 2 words can sound very assertively rebellious and challenging the critics...

"Zen yang?" in this context, it sounds like ...
"So I Love Music. What's your problem?"
"I just love music. You have a problem with that?"

Even though I don't support this kind of challenging tone...it's as though we're defending ourselves from the the naysayers who keep looking down on our desire to make music --
"Don't waste your time. You'll never make money from music. Who do you think you are? You need to be really good to make it. You can't make it here in this country. Don't dream. Get a real job!!!"

...it got me thinking about me wanting to do music at my age...and not just wanting to do music...but having a deep urge to sing it in public...to record it for eternity...to reach out to the world. It's not for self glamour.

If I wanted to be glamourous, I would have done it 20 years ago and not hide myself in Nobody-dom, even though I was also not good enough to turn professional, even though my music may be criticized, even though I am not a good singer now (but I will keep on training myself and hope that someone would like my singing).

Who has the authority to decide for you what you can and cannot do anyway? The Prime Minister? The police? The radio station? The most successful record label? The artiste manager? Your mother? Your cousin?

The Chinese have a traditional belief that each one of us is fated to only conquer in certain areas of business. For example, some are meant to be in the food & beverage industry, some are meant to be in sales, some are meant to be in metalworks, some are meant to be in finances... something to do with the elements of your birthdate...

Perhaps my spiritually-sensitive Sifu may be able to sense if I'm meant to have a career in music. So a friend suggested I consult him.

Sifu gave me a lashing of words. He says as long as you have found the money to make it happen, and know your target market, you can do it.

Music is an art. Art is creative. Creativity means freedom. It is a freedom to express. Who can control creativity?

I tell you. If something is meant to happen. It will find its way to happen. No human on earth could stop the forces of nature or the forces of God.

Now, I believe that Music is a gift from God, and it was implanted in humans as part of our DNA. It is meant as a channel and a way for us to express ourselves and share our soul...in times of joy, in times of sadness.

So when we sing and when we play music, whether it is bringing income for us or not, it should not be frowned upon. Of course, some music or singing may not be well presented, or its genre may not go well with your liking.

But it is undeniably a soul expression. And none of us can stop a soul's real journey.



#irriessechia

A Sudden Discovery

A sudden discovery.

An amazing gift.

Of a great song.

Of a great singer.

Cover - wo de ge sheng li

I just learned my current favourite song by Chinese artiste, Qu Wan Ting -- You Exist In My Song (Wo De Ge Sheng Li).

It's really raw, but I'm so happy cos this is my 2nd attempt at playing & recording the entire song in my simple "home studio."

The Answer

Come to me in a thousand ways,

A thousand moments,

A thousand places,

Pools of knowingness,

Deepest, no less,

Particles of truth,

My doubts to soothe.

Come to me in a thousand ways,

A thousand moments,

A thousand places,

Fear keeps us apart,

Open my heart,

Faith brings us closer,

Joy unites us.

Author's Note: This is a poem I started several weeks ago but just completed yesterday. Every poem I write is about something that I have observed and experienced in my life. It could be a behaviour, an attitude, a situation, a sign that made me think and analyze over and over again. 

I was struggling over my emotions and my understanding of myself, my soul work, questioning where I went wrong when I thought I had begun to get it right, I was guided to pick up the book that gave me the answer and the video that gave me the answer. It is said that when the student is ready, the teacher appears. 

It was written somewhere that God speaks to us in many ways, not just through any particular "religious/historical" book. Perhaps it is because I was born with a quiet spirit and interests in the arts: music, dancing, painting, writing. This quiet spirit of mine instilled a lot of conflict within me. It was a setback at home, in school, in college, with the guys, with the teachers, with the management, with society -- not too often praised, but perhaps appreciated by some once in a while. 

Yet, my American "mom," Sharon, spending time with me during my college years, was the only one who told me she noticed it and described me as being sensitive to my surroundings, having a spiritual gift. She saw that I appreciated the beauty and colours of nature, I could write about it and talk about it. I was flattered but I didn't understand how it could be a spiritual gift. Even though I longed to be close to God, to be loved by him, and to be treated as special, I thought that God didn't even know my name. Not many people did, either. When others talked about literally hearing God speak to them, or through a church leader, or seeing angels, or given God's healing, I never had any close encounters with God. It was as if I was forever assigned to sit in the back row. I was just an audience and not a participant.

After a relationship breakup that crashed all the fragile concepts I had of what my life was supposed to be, I left church and refused to read anymore official religious documents. In a rebellious sort of way, I wanted to experience what the "unGodly" and "sinful" were going through. I wanted to see and hear God through other people, through other authors that wrote "wrong teachings;" through the clouds, and the trees, the music in the dance clubs, and through the movies....

One thing led to another. Recently, as I was wondering how to find my answers, I noticed that words were reminding me that this Universe is ours to experience, as we all are soul fragments of the larger God -- "made in the likeness of God" -- then, why wasn't I behaving as if? That, when we ask, it is given. The answer is always there. Can we miss it? No. Because it will come in many ways, again and again. Just open my eyes, my ears, my heart, my soul to find the answer to my question. 

This poem is about my understanding of where and how to find my answer. And if I desired it, I will find it. 

The Master of Disbelief

I am a Master of Disbelief -- yep, the Science of rejecting the possibility of the actual happening of a thing, a situation or a person that I so-o-o-o want in my life. 

I was an expert at Disbelief since childhood. I proved that theory true over and over again. I was born with the Silver Spoon of Disbelief in my mouth.  (It's probably the only thing I believe in...) I could be royalty in the Kingdom of Disbelief, I swear. A Princess. Her Royal Highness. 

I had an early start. I practised disbelieving since childhood. A child genius, I was. As a mite living under my parents' roof, going to school and doing all the things that normal children that age do, I disbelieved that I was worth my parents' love. 

Then, I brought that science with me to my teenage years. Oh, how I proved myself right again. I really did grow up well. (Smile with a smirk). It was the time of my life -- to disbelief that anything I wanted could ever happen -- the cute guy, the exam scores, the dresses.... everything that I wanted then, was NOT going to be mine! I should have felt delighted.

Then, in my adult years, I practised that Science at work too -- disbelieving every step of the way that I was worth that job, or that promotion, or that salary. I disbelieved that I was worthy of being in the right relationship with the right guy -- that he'd even want me in the first place. Oh, how could I have even believed that! 

Then, I founded my own company. Oh, wow! My dream come true, all my ambitions being realized at last, all that I ever wanted to do! I was on my way -- NOT! Again, I proved that I was THE MASTER OF DISBELIEF! Haha! It should be funny. It should tickle my bones to know that I am right -- yet again! I am not just a Master of Disbelief. I am also a Prophesier. 

My life has been success after success -- whoopee -- of Disbelief. I don't need to live another lifetime to understand its ins and outs. There are no steps to follow. No guidebooks to read. No book for me to write and publish -- except this little article.

So, having achieved mastery, what's next? Exactly. What's next? Been there. Done that. Oh, you don't know how far I've been and how much I've done. I can't even believe my own achievement. I'm so proud of myself. Yay....

Something happened just a few weeks ago. I had been practising Disbelief as always, and yet for years I wanted to also master Belief. Maybe it was an invisible arrow from the heavens; a lightning strike in my soul; caved-in moments in the recesses of the universe.

I suddenly knew. I knew -- not just a little, not just bit by bit. But I knew! I actually knew! Now I know 100%. 

I know what is Belief.

Train Your Expectations

Whenever I feel uninspired, down, lost, hopeless, passionless -- I look for Abraham Hicks' messages to raise me up again. 

Too many things and problems in life may drown me so I need to pull myself out of that tsunami of negative emotions. 

 This is my great reminder of how powerful God is, and how powerful He has made us.

Full Moon At Its Brightest

Today, I saw a really big and bright full moon.

Then I remembered it was supposed to be at its brightest 2 nights ago...but I wasn't paying attention then. Thank God that it was still bright tonight.

I didn't have the best camera to take a photo, cos it wouldn't had been able to capture its awesome, sweet brightness.

But I can remember it in my head.

And this will help me to remember to appreciate the goodness in my life.

I Discovered The Kaleidoscope

...kaleidoscope effects....

...it was a miraculous discovery while sitting on this bed playing with my iphone...

September Shares / Antara Anyir & Jakarta

One of my all-time favourite tunes.

All the way from the 80's...

Here is the Malay version & the English version.

The Lost Piece -- by Yu-Chi

the lost piece

Whitney Houston -- Do You Think She Loved Herself?

Every time a rich and famous artiste dies, we shed some tears, our heart is filled with sadness for someone we don't know personally, yet think we know so well.

What a shock to hear that Whitney Houston has passed on at 48 today. We had hoped that she would regain her true self after years of hearing about her tumultuous life of drug abuse and rocky marriage. But it was not to be as it looks like her life ended with regrets.

The greatest irony and sadness is that the woman who sang "learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all" -- never did love herself. The woman who was so loved and adored for singing those words for us to understand, she herself struggled to find her place in this world.

We will never really know what was going on inside her mind. Yet, the questions running through our mind are why couldn't she deal with all the money and success? But yet, it seems she lived a wealthy lifestyle. What made her want to consume those drugs? Drugs could be described as a rich-and-famous playground, but her dependency on it meant that she was trying to get the "high" all the time -- an escape into another world.

So again, this is a time of reflection for me and for so many others. How are we going to live as we grow older? How do we deal with our successes and non-successes? How are we going to deal with growing older, looking older, growing fatter, growing less prettier, sickness and whatever that comes with age?

For me, a musician at heart, I respect her talent. I know it takes so much self-confidence and constant self-reassurance to keep yourself going to do your music, even if nobody else encourages you to.

When I look at her life, I am sad because she has achieved something I never could do and yet she might not have truly appreciated it all.

Rest in peace.

Don't Forget - Baek Ji Young

I love this song and have gotten quite good now at memorizing the Korean lyrics. Baek Ji Young's voice has a high range and she hits both high notes and low notes with a lot of feelings.

If you haven't heard this before, I first heard it on the hit Korean drama -- Iris.

A Natural Poet, A Passionate Poet

What a great poet!

Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus

Jefferson Bethke
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Jefferson-Bethke/339101236109342


Talented.

Summertime by Iris

 Summertime by Iris 1.4MB by imaginiris

Crazy Little Thing Called Poetry -- I Wrote A Poem for Ralph Macchio?

I'm so full of surprises...that I surprise myself!

I was just visiting one of my other blogs called http://80smusictv.blogspot.com, something which I haven't done in a long, long time.

Haha....I was so thrilled with myself.

Continuing with my self-discovery story...I found out that I had written a little poem on the blog (I did this?!!) to Ralph Macchio, my heartthrob...

Here it is:

Oh, Ralph, my macho, macho guy,

You were buried when my teenage sighs
Left me as adulthood came
And so it's adulthood years I blame
For the memory loss of my teenage crush
Crazy over you, I missed you very much.

My Village Playground

My sandaled feet went flip, flop, flip, flop, as I

Crossed the mellow planks to the other side,

Where a two-feet wide ditch divides

The wooden houses from the quiet woods.

My eight-year-old fingers entwined with Uncle’s –

Rough and scrubbed

Of sweaty, rubber-tapping days.

We walked the narrow, red path – dry and hard,

Patterns of soles imprinted on it.

The five-o’clock light squeezed daintily

Through the tiny holes in the dark and dense

Overlapping oval leaves.

They stood tall and thin – those rubber soldiers

While the childlike underbrush peeked

Shyly between their feet.

Once the shadows disappear,

Brightness seems to close my eye with her gentle fingers,

We stand on the stream’s muddy bank and watch

The milky, brown waters slip between my playful toes.

Up above – the hot, bustling Semenyih road forgets

My hidden playground.

© 1991 Iris Chia

My first -- Rain & Stars

The first time I touched the Canon MarkII 5D, an absolute beginner, not knowing how a DSLR works and not familiar with the technical know-how of the basics of videography and photography, I recorded some video in my home. 

Rain. 

Then, later on I went home to my parents'. Rain. 

So I recorded more footages.

Then I decided to try my hand at editing using iMovie on my Macbook -- also my first time. 

After a few hours, I managed something amateurish -- but which I am really proud of, cos I did it on my own!

The song was a random song of a favourite Korean artiste, Yoon Sang Hyun. I thought it suited the mood. In English, the song title was Constellation of Stars. Then I noticed that the video I shot at both locations had star & moon items....